The I Love Emmett Cullen Fan Club!
by Bella's Bff
Summary: Emmett decides to make his own fan club! For himself! So he recruits Bella's Bff to be his President! Randomness! YAY! Club is in need of members, so review and ask to join! It's that simple! Hurry and join or Emmett will be mad at me for lack of members!
1. I'M STARTING A FAN CLUB!

**Disclaimer: I own nothing! Except Mr. Snuggerdoodleswitch!

* * *

**

**EMPOV**

I just had the greatest idea! I'm going to start my own fan club! For myself!

And I know the perfect person to be my president!

I sat at my desk, and pulled out my pink cell phone! (Don't mock Jeffery! He's very manly!) I went through my contact's until I got to her phone number. I pressed 'send'.

"Hey, Bella's Bff! I want to start a Fan Club for myself, and I wanted you to be the President, 'cause I don't know how to start a club and stuff." I said to her, in my super-hot voice.

"OH MY CARLISLE! I WOULD FRICKEN LOVE TO!" She screamed.

"Good. And from now on, you will say "OH MY EMMETT!" not "OH MY CARLISLE!", okay? Good. Now, the club will be called The I Love Emmett Cullen Fan club! So get a staff from or whatever. I want everyone to know that I have Fan girls too! NOT JUST EDWARD!"

"But Edward rocks!"

"Ahem."

"Oh, n-not a-as m-much as you!" She stuttered.

"That's better. Now get your staff!"

"YES MAM- I MEAN SIR!" I hung up, and leaned back on the chair, putting my feet on the desk.

But then it broke.

"EMMETT CULLEN WAS THAT ANOTHER CHAIR! THAT'S THE SECOND ONE THIS WEEK!" Esme screamed. Scaring me to fricken death and I screamed (a very manly scream)-

"EMMETT YOU SCREAM LIKE A LITTLE GIRL!" Stupid Edward. He's just jealous of my cool manly screams.

"WELL AT LEAST I'M NOT A PRUDE!!" I screamed back.

"WELL AT LEAST I HAVE FAN GIRLS!"

"I HAVE MORE FANGIRLS THAN YOU DO!" I screamed back, running into his room, and tackling him to the ground.

"DO NOT!"

"DO TOO!"

"DO NOT!"

"DO TOO!"

Esme pulled us apart and screamed at us, "WHERE IS MY WINDEX?!"

Poor Esme. She's finally lost it.

"I HAVE NOT LOST IT!" She screamed.

"Wait... I said that out loud?" I asked.

"No Esme can read minds now, too!" Edward said **(AN: Sarcastically).**

"NOOOO!!" I screamed running to my room. I grabbed Mr. Snuggerdoodleswitch, and ran to my closet.

I wrapped myself into a ball, and rocked in circles "Not Esme, not Esme. No privacy. Need mind to be safe from alien invaders..." I muttered.

"HA! EMMETT SUCKS HIS THUMB!" Edward screamed.

"DO NOT!" I quickly pulled my thumb out of my mouth.

He's just jealous of my manly thumb sucking.

"Oh my-" Edward started.

"LANGUAGE!" Esme screamed.

**What do you think? Hate it? Love it? Somewhere in the middle? The worst thing you've ever read? Should I continue? If you want to part of the I Love Emmett Cullen Fan Club, then tell me in the review. You will be part of the next chapter! (If anyone wants one) The next chapter, if there is one, will be the first Club Meeting!**


	2. The First Meeting: Emmett's Revenge

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, but I am the president of the I Love Emmett Cullen Fan Club! So, HA!**

* * *

So I was sitting in my room, pouting, when Bella's Bff (AN: me) walked in. She looked happy. But I had to ask, "How do you know where I live?"

She rolled her eyes at me, "'Cause I'm the writer! How lame would it be if the writer called you to ask you where you live!? So I just appeared, 'cause I fricken want to!" She shouted at me, actually, she was kinda scaring me. I had to stop myself from running away crying (a manly cry).

"Oookay. So do you have staff?" I asked. There was no point! I mean, of course she does! Everybody loves the Teddybear Emmie-poo! Wait, Edward... you didn't hear that...

"I'M GONNA GO TELL JASPER!!" Edward screamed.

"AND I'M GONNA TELL BELLA THAT YOU HANG OUT WITH YOUR FAN GIRLS MORE THAN HER!" I threatened. Ha, ha! Edward can't top that!

"AND I'M GONNA TELL ROSALIE THAT YOU SMELL!" I swear at this time of day, Edward was loony. I should let Bella see him like this sometime...

"Soo... Back to business! I got nine people to sign up so far." I pouted, I guess people don't like me as much as I thought... "So we have a vice president, d.sunny.d, but she wants to be called sunny! we have for the staff...

Bookflower

All Dolls Fall Down

ily94

bibliocrazed

Mrs.EmmettCullen168

Mrs.EdwardCullen1714

OneWIshMakeItCount

rochsmell

"So we should be meeting in about..." She looked at her watch,"..ten seconds tops."

All of a sudden they were all here. It was pretty freaky... They were all just like... poof!

I guess it was the 'writer's magic', as Bella's Bff calls it... But I never thought that they would poof! In front of MY FRIGGIN EYES!?

"Okay, so our first assignment, thanks to sunny, is --whispers-- revenge on Edward --whispers--!" Bella's Bff said/whispered.

"YAY!" All the girls squealed. Hmm... I wonder what those signs she keeps showing them say...

"Now Emmett will you please take the podium." I stood in front of the podium thingy.

"Okay. Now, to get revenge on Edward, we must attack his heart-"

Mrs.Emmettcullen168 spoke up, "Did you get that from Spiderman?"

"Yes! You got a problem with it?"

"No... YOU'RE SO MEAN! I QUIT!" She screamed.

My eyes widened in horror, "NO!! YOU CAN'T LEAVE! I'M SORRY!" I apologized.

Mrs.Emmettcullen168 looked satisfied, "It's okay."

"Okay, so as I was saying, we should --whispers plan--, what do you think?"

"YAY!" What's with those signs...?

Esme jumped in the room, holding her beloved Windex bottle like a gun, "WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE??" She screamed.

"They are my fan club! Don't hurt them! Please mommy..." I pouted.

She lowered her weapon, "Okay, just don't make a mess."

"We won't Esme!" Everyone chanted.

She nodded, then left the room. Probably going to clean something.

I sighed in relief, "She didn't squirt me with the Windex! I get to keep my hair!"

"What are you talking about? Why wouldn't you get to keep your hair?" ily94 asked.

"Edward told me that Windex makes your hair fall out. But it WAS during his loony hour..." I trailed off.

"I'M NOT A LOON!" Edward screamed off in the distance.

"ARE TOO!"

"AM NOT!"

"ARE TOO!"

"MY EARS!" sunny screamed, clutching her head tightly.

"MY COOKIES!" OneWishMakeItCount screamed.

"GO EMMETT!" Mrs.Emmettcullen168 screamed.

"GO EDWARD!" Mrs.Edwardcullen1714 screamed at her, causing me to gasp. "Oh, I mean... GO EMMETT!" She screamed.

"That's better." I said.

"This chapter is getting too weird. So is this story." Bella's Bff (aka the writer) said. She turned to me, "You must end this meeting!" She shouted at me.

I ran to the podium, "That ends this meeting. See you when you poof! here again!"

"BYE!" They squealed. Then... POOF! They were gone.

"Bye, Bella's Bff!"

"Bye Emmett."

As I walked back to my room, I thought, I can't believe only nine people signed up! I ran the rest of the way, and when I got to my closet I weeped in sorry about the lack of members.

But don't worry, it was _manly_ weeping.

* * *

**I need more staff! Emmett's crying 'cause only nine people signed up!**


	3. IMPORTANT POLL!

I have a new poll on my profile. It is important that you vote, 'cause it concerns future updates! 


	4. Touche

**Disclaimer: This isn't what you think it is!**

**Edward: Yes it is! I can read it in your mind! --opens the door and yells-- Look! BELLA'S BFF IS SMELLING NAIL POLISH!**

**Disclaimer: --rolls eyes-- Everybody's out hunting!**

**Edward: I know. But you were sniffing nail polish!**

**Disclaimer: --sighs-- That's how I wrote this chapter!**

**Edward: Than this chapter must be really messed up...**

**Disclaimer: For once, Edward, I agree with you.**

**Edward: Hey, aren't you supposed to be telling them all that "I don't own." stuff?**

**Disclaimer: Yep. I don't know anything! And I didn't sniff nail polish while writing this. It's just really messed up.

* * *

**

**EMPOV**

I sat in my room after my super awesome Fan Club's meeting. I rock. It's as simple as that.

I was getting bored so I decided to go shopping with Alice. Nothing terribly exciting happened, except for the bear that chased me into the mall.

On our girls' night out, I decided we should rent a movie. Cuz I friggin rock.

We ended up picking Titanic.

When Jack died, I screamed out, "WHY!? NOOOOO!!"

Don't worry, I was manly. I always am.

Then after that we decided to go bug Edward. That was the highlight of my day. I tried selling his piano on Ebay. It was freakin funny.

Currently, I am running away from Edward still, in the forest. I suddenly saw a mountain lion sleeping on a rock. I sat down next to it, since Edward was a few miles behind me. He, being the meany that he is, gave me a only a few extra miles.

Psh. That's barely enough to live.

So I looked at the mountain lion, (It'd now woken up), "It's no fair!" I said, pouting (manly).

The lion opened it's eyes, looking confused, "What's no fair, Emmett?" He asked.

I looked at him, my eyes wide, "The real question is: How do you know my name?!" I started to hyperventilate.

The mountain lion rolled his eyes, "You have a nametag on your shirt." He said.

I looked down. Oh, yeah. That's the one my kindergarten teacher gave me today. It was my first day. Good times, good times. "You can read?" I asked.

"Better than you."

"Touche."

"So are you having a club meeting today?" He asked, and I didn't even want to know how he knew.

"Yep, Bella's Bff says we've got A LOT of new members! I'm so happy, I'm dancing!"

"No you aren't."

"Am too! In my mind..." I said tapping the empty thing on my shoulders.

"Can I join?" He asked.

"Nope. Too many members. We can only except a few more. And they can't be animals." I said, "By the way, what's your name?" I asked.

"RUN!" He shouted.

I started to run, but he stopped me. I cocked my head to the side in confusion.

"My name is RUN!" He shouted, causing me to wince. I don't know why. Living with Alice should have got me used to it.

"Oh, okay, "RUN!", why is your name "RUN!"?" I asked.

"Well, one day when I was a mountain lion cub, I decided to ask my mom what my name was-"

"Wait!? So what did she call you before that?"

"She called me and my brothers and sisters by numbers. I was thirteen."

"You were thirteen years old?"

"No, thirteen was what she called me. Anyways, I asked mum what my name was and she looked behind me, and she looked scared. "RUN!" She said, and then everyone started to run, so I followed. After that she never called me RUN!, though. She usually called me Westley." He finished his story right as I was waking up.

Edward's voice echoed through the forest, "EMMETT! YOU CAN'T SLEEP!" He screamed. I turned to see him standing twenty feet away from me and RUN!.

"CAN TOO! AND WHAT'S TAKING YOU SO LONG?" I asked.

"Bella tripped at home, so I had to catch her. It should be another..." He checked his watch, "...ten minutes til she falls again. It's your turn then."

I checked my watch, "But my watch says it's another eleven minutes."

"Whatever. Don't you have one of those meeting thingies to go to?" He asked.

"Oh shoot! I'm late! There going to kill me!"

"If only you could die..." Edward muttered under his breath, forgetting that I was a vampire, "Or not caring." He said, answering my thoughts.

"HEY!"

* * *

You heard him! I'm not letting anyone else in the Fan Club after this chapter!

And since I have so many people, I think I will make four different groups of the fan club. They will all be mentioned.

Review, or I'll send Emmett after you!


	5. Teams and Positions! Choose Your's!

**Please read this! Especially if you are a staff member (_or want to be_)! Readers should read this, too, cuz it might be important to you! Please! I need for your response, or I won't update! This is really important to the future of this story!**

**First Of All:**

Staff so far:

_BellaandEdwardLover_

_Mgrl818_

_JaspersTrueGirl_

_Elia Rayne_

_CassieRae - Cassie - secretary_

_Bookflower_

_ordinaryextrodinary_

_ily94_

_d.sunny.d - vice president_

_Mrs.EdwardCullen1714_

_OneWishMakeItCount - First Member (besides myself)_

_P34rls_

_Michelle62092_

_Duskgrowlthevampire_

_Lace168 - Lace- Assistant_

_vampgirl18_

_babygirl242_

_Knight of dreams_

_PeaceLoveJonas7894_

_Ashley.Is.Irish_

_StalkerishEmmettFan - Rice President_

_Edward-Cullen-Is-Beyond-Sexy_

_AnimeLOVER300_

_Kim53456_

_mcarp591_

_TwilightEmblemGirl_

_dazzledduo_

_XxEdwardLovaxX_

_nerdandedwardforever_

_EdwardJacobhmp_

_HarmoniousPie - Pie Fetcher (Cuz pies are awesome)_

_ShadowofMidnight_

**If you are not on that list, and are still reading this, I need a review from you saying so. You also have to include which team you'd rather be on in the I Love Emmett Cullen Fan Club:**

_Twilight_

_New Moon_

_Eclipse_

_Breaking Dawn_

_Midnight Sun_

_Forever Dawn_

_The Host_

**Staff members need to review, too, to tell me.**

**And, tell me what possition you want, aside from the ones I've already given you. (You could make one up) Each group needs, or should have, a secretary, vice president, and president. And, if you pick to be secretary, president, or vice president, I will also need an alternate choice that you created yourself.**

_Sunny, Lace, OneWishMakeItCount, Cassie, and I are the staff over all. But they all still get to pick a team and position on the team. I shall be on the New Moon team (cuz I have a feeling that not many will pick that one, and I'm a rebel), and I am the "Mascot Decider"! MUAHAHAHAHA!! You can be the mascot decider of any other team, but not New Moon! The Mascot deciders shall all combine to choose the mascot. I will reveal the two possible Mascots in the next chapter!_

**If you do not want a position, and don't care what team you're on (though it would make it a lot easier for me if you picked one, or told me which one(s) you'd rather not be in), just tell me, and I will pick, just say, "I do not care where I go.". You can also say "surprise me" and I will put you in the mystery one. Oooh... Can you guess what it is? Don't, cuz then I won't feel so clever. pout**

**_Thanks, and just a warning, if you do not review to this and want to be/are part of the fan club (if you're not sure if you already are, check the list at the top of the chapter), I will choose for you. And it might not be what you wanted._**

_Thank you, and I will update as soon as you answer my question._

Bella's Bff

**PS: Please just don't pick Twilight and Eclipse. New Moon may be depressing, but it is important to the series.**

**Review, or I **_won't_** send Emmett (or Edward, or Jasper, or Carlisle, or Jacob) after you! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! cough, cough**

**:)**


	6. Emmett: Am I Cute?

**CHECK OUT MY POLL!! IF I GET A LOT OF VOTES I'LL PROBABLY BE ABLE TO UPDATE SOONER!!**

I ran towards my house at vamp speed, _'cause, duh, I'm a vampire. And not just a vampire! A super awesome, super hot, super sexy, super dooper (don't tell Edward I said that), super cute..._

_SUPER EMMETT! DA DA DA DAAAA!!_

"Ugh. Emmett, stop singing in your mind. Your voice drives me crazy."

"With lust?!" **(insert gasp here)** _My BROTHER?!_

"No, Emmett, you idiot. With ANNOYANCE." I pouted. _So I'm not cute?_

"Nope." He answered my thoughts, and I ran to Rose, crying. She was sitting on our bed, as always, but this time she was reading. _GASP!! YOU NEVER WOULD'VE THOUGHT!_

"But I thought you were a dumb blond." Rose just rolled her eyes, and turned the page. I realized that I'd lost my point, so I went back to wallowing in agony, "Rosey?" I whimpered, the pout back on my face.

"Hm?" She asked, turning the page once more, not once looking at me, proving the pout useless. But I liked pouting... _So, HA!_

"Do you think I'm cute? Eddie said I'm not." I asked, playing with my hands. _What? I'm sensitive..._

"HECK YES!! That's why I married you!"

"THAT'S WHY YOU MARRIED ME?! I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME?!" I began to sob, and leapt over the bed, and through the door, opening it first, down the stairs, and outside, running out to hide in the forest.

**Nobody loves me.**

**Everybody hates me.**

**Why don't I just go eat worms?**

_WHY!? 'Cause they're SLIMMEY!!_

_So, apparently, I'm cute, but not to guys. Which is fine with me, 'cause I have Rosey. Oh... Wait... I guess I don't have Rosey anymore... Hmm..._

_What Would Alice Do?_

_Probably Jasper, but that's besides the point... Wait... BAD MENTAL IMAGES!! Wait. Actually, bad mental images are good. Why?_

_'Cause Edward sees them too..._

_MUAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!_

_Okay, so... Back to Alice... What would she do besides Jasper...? Hmm..._

_OUCH!! I'M THINKING TO HARD!! THE PEANUT-LIKE THING IN MY HEAD HURTS_!! UGH!!

I'm going to go take a break... And catch a grizzly bear... Yum.

_One last thing: What do you think? Am I cute?_

_So, if you guys want to be in the next chapter, answer to the last chapter in a review (But don't answer-review in for this chapter, cuz it would make it a lot easier on me.). Tell me what you think. And if you still want to kick my butt for not updating sooner._

**CHECK OUT MY POLL!!**

Also,

Disclaimer: I do not own. --pouts--

Emmett: Neither do I... --pouts with disclaimer--

Disclaimer: Yes, but you are owned...

Emmett: NOOOOOO!!

Disclaimer: Yes.


	7. Check Out My Poll, it concerns updates!

Check out my poll!

It has to do with future updates.

Sk8er Gurl Sequel

And We Were Drunk, My Boyfriend's Not Gonna Be Happy's Sequel gets effected too.

this message will be deleted, so don't review 


End file.
